


Truth and Consequences

by 1L40



Category: Castle
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Season 5 Finale, Watershed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:37:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1991817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1L40/pseuds/1L40
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loose continuation of "Right Question, Wrong Castle," AU Watershed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth and Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> Repost from FF net.

" _What's this?" Castle looked at the tiny slip of paper in his hand._

" _What's what?" Beckett looked up from the onions she was cutting for dinner._

" _Boarding pass," Castle held it up for her to see._

" _Castle," she tried to explain before he worked himself up, but it was already too late._

" _You fly to D.C. yesterday?" He checked the details on her boarding pass with a frown._

_Kate left the onions and took a few steps toward her boyfriend. She had no idea how to start this conversation, so she wrung her hands nervously. "Yes, I did." She finally said._

" _Why?" He looked at her completely surprised._

" _I was invited down for an interview."_

" _What kind of interview?"_

" _For a position with the federal task force."_

" _I'm sorry," Castle tried to hold back his anger, "you interviewed for another job in another_ city _. And you didn't tell me_ _?"_

" _I didn't tell you about it because it was just an interview and I knew that you would be upset." She took a few steps towards him, as if that could defuse the situation._

" _Oh," Castle cocked his head, "yeah," he licked his lips quickly, "yeah, you're damn right, I'm upset."_

" _Castle I just wanted to see what is out there. What's wrong with that?" Kate stood her ground._

" _What's wrong with it is that you_ hid _it from me. In fact, you lied about it, I wouldn't do that to you." Castle's voice and eyes took on an accusatory undertone._

" _Castle, this isn't about you," Kate knew they both had already one foot in a fight, when he gave her that look, "this is about me. This is about my life."_

" _So you're seriously considering this." He stated flatly._

" _Yes! This is a wonderful opportunity, it will be a chance to do more!" She replied eagerly, when she saw his head bob._

" _Without me," Castle said still nodding._

" _Castle, please don't do this, please don't make this about us." Kate lowered her head and shook it slightly._ _Why didn't he understand how important this was for her?_

" _I'm sorry, tell me how this isn't about us? You get this job, you move to D.C., I'll never see you. That's pretty much the end of our relationship, isn't it?" He tried hard to keep his voice calm, when all he wanted to do was yell at her for her incredible selfishness._

" _You don't know that. And I probably won't even get the job," Kate countered._

" _That's not the point." Castle looked down at her, and she suddenly felt he was patronizing her. "The point is, you knew what this could mean and it didn't occur to you to include me. Or worse… it did occur to you and you chose not to." He started to turn away from her. "And what does that say about us?" He fiddled with his jacket, "Not much if you ask me." He walked past her._

_Beckett sighed frustrated. "Castle!" She turned around._

" _I can't be here right now." He brushed past her. Kate gave another sigh and heard the door open and close behind him._

Well, that went well. Kate stared into space, mulling over the consequence of their fight.

Castle was obviously not willing to move to another city with her, and while D.C. was definitely within a reasonable range for a long distance relationship, it seemed that Castle was unwilling to meet her halfway.

But how could she let an opportunity like this pass by? She was only 33 years old and she'd been so obsessed with her mother's murder for the last fourteen years, she had spent nary a thought on her future. Her future had died in the alley that night, along with her dreams of going to law school and becoming the first female chief justice. This was life knocking on her door again and reminding her of all the ambitions she had as a young girl.

They'd caught her mother's killers, even if they couldn't prosecute Bracken, and maybe it was time to put out her feelers and leave her little oyster. What she hadn't counted on was Castle's obvious resistance to her career plans.

Beckett sighed heavily. Why are relationships always so complicated? She heard the door open, so she hurried behind the kitchen counter, thinking it was Castle coming back. She didn't want him to find her rooted to the same spot he'd left her minutes ago. Kate finished chopping the onions, when Castle's mother breezed into the kitchen.

"Kate, my dear, how wonderful to see you!" Martha exclaimed with her usual exuberance.

"Hi Martha," Kate replied casually. She tried to look normal even though her fight with Rick had rattled her cage.

"Everything alright?" Martha looked at the younger woman suspiciously.

"Yeah, yeah all fine." Kate nodded quickly, "Just making dinner."

"Ok, where's Richard, I need to ask him something." Martha had already turned around and was about to make her way to the study.

"He isn't here." Kate explained without looking up. Instead, she put a lot of effort into dicing the carrots now.

"Ok, when will he be home?"

"I don't know," Kate shrugged her shoulders and moved on to the broccoli.

"Well, he can't be too long, since you're almost done with dinner." Martha pointed out the obvious. Kate sighed and put down her knife.

"I don't know when he'll be back, he left only a minute ago."

"My mistake, I thought you were making dinner for the both of you." Martha shrugged her shoulders and watched Kate pull out a pan. She looked around the kitchen counter. That was an awful lot of food for one person. Martha's eyes widened with recognition.

"Kate?"

"Mhm?" Beckett glanced up from the pan where the chicken breasts were now sizzling.

"This is a lot of food for one person," Martha lifted her eyebrows, "unless you're eating for two?" She looked at the younger woman curiously with a dash of hopefulness in her eyes. "Is that why Richard left? You told him you were pregnant and he just bolted?" Martha's look changed to one of understanding and compassion.

"No!" Kate shook her head vigorously, "I am  _not_  pregnant, Martha. And Rick didn't bolt because of impending fatherhood and I seriously hope that's not what his reaction will be, if I ever got pregnant."

"Then what happened?"

"We had a fight. We were making dinner and he found out about my trip to D.C. for a job interview. He wasn't pleased."

"You're moving to D.C.?" Martha looked at Beckett horrified.

Why was everyone so appalled by the possibility of her working for the government in D.C.?

"I don't know. It was just an interview. I probably won't even make the cut for the next round." Beckett averted her eyes and focused on steaming the veggies in a pot of water.

"Aren't you happy here?" Martha asked and stole a piece of carrot from the bowl.

"Of course, I'm happy here. Especially now that Rick and I are together and I've exorcised most of my demons."

"Then what does D.C. have what New York doesn't?"

"Career opportunities. I have been tapped to join a federal special investigations task force. I can't tell you more about it, because it's all very hush-hush."

Martha nodded. "Is that what you want?"

"I don't know. I'm not seriously expecting to get the job. I don't have the necessary experience. I just wanted to throw my name into the game, let people know that I'm up for bigger stuff and ready for promotions."

"You can have a career here in New York." Martha countered.

Kate shrugged, "I know, but when you're asked by the attorney general to sit for a job interview, you don't say no."

"So you're not really interested in the job?"

"I was." Kate sighed. "I am. I was seriously considering it until Castle stormed out all angry."

"Well what did he say when you told him you were going to D.C. for an interview? Has he been strongly opposed to it all the time?"

"That's just it. I didn't tell him. I was afraid of his reaction. And I thought it's just an interview why upset him for a job I probably won't even get."

"But he found out anyway."

Kate nodded. "And he was pissed."

"Understandably."

"I know I shouldn't have gone behind his back. But then again, we still really haven't talked about our future as a couple. I want to give him time and space to figure out what he wants, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I had to grab it, even if it means pushing Rick into making a decision he isn't ready for."

"Kate, I think he's mostly upset because you didn't include him in the decision process, and not all that much opposed to you taking a job in D.C."

"Why can't he support me?" Kate looked at Martha as if she knew the answer. "I mean why can't he understand how important this is for me? It's my job and my life and he makes it all about himself again!"

"Only it isn't just about you anymore, isn't it?" Martha looked now slightly pissed.

"What do you mean? Of course this is about me and not him!" Kate was now raising her voice in anger.

Martha shook her head in disbelief, she was running out of patience. "Seriously, kiddo, it's time you came off your high horse. Richard's been more than understanding the last three years. He gave you all the time you needed to heal emotionally and physically, he's been waiting for you three years, Kate! He watched you parade your little boyfriends around the precinct right in front of his damn nose and tried to raise above the occasion. Your fine doctor friend even assaulted him in the waiting room after you got shot. And then when you finally deign him with the grace of your presence in his bed, he tiptoes around you like a scared monkey, afraid if he says or does the wrong thing, you'll bolt."

Kate's jaw dropped as she listened to Martha's tirade. This wasn't Martha Rodgers the famous Broadway actress eulogizing Shakespeare, this was Mama Castle ripping her son's girlfriend a new one because she broke his heart one time too many.

"You gotta make up your mind, Kate. It's not fair to keep Richard at your beck and call, when you're unwilling to fully commit to this relationship."

"But I  _am_  committed. He's the one who doesn't want to move!"

"Have you ever asked him why?" Martha countered.

"Well, no. I just assumed, since he's a writer… I mean he can write anywhere. And with Alexis in college, he doesn't need to be around her 24/7 anymore."

"That's rich, Kate. Making plans and decisions  _for_  Richard now?"

"Not my fault, if he doesn't want to talk about our future. Someone has to make the decisions!"

"You're supposed to make decisions together as a couple. You can't go ahead and decide things on a whim or according to how they fit into  _your_  plans. You need to consider Richard's plans and feelings too!"

Kate growled frustrated, "I wasn't gonna take the damn job without talking it over with Rick first. I know that this is an important fork in the road for us. I just wish he was a little more understanding and supportive."

"How about you try and be a little supportive of him? I mustn't have been very clear when we talked last time."

"Don't pull that card again, Martha! It's unfair and you know it. I told him and I went to this shindig with him."

"You really don't get it?" Martha shook her head in disappointment. "Supporting him at work is one thing. Right now I'm talking about his friends and family. Have you thought how leaving New York City might affect his personal relationships? You might be willing to leave your friends and families behind, but maybe Richard doesn't? He doesn't show it, but he's still recovering from Alexis's kidnapping. If she doesn't call regularly to check in with him twice a day, he'll drive over to the Columbia campus and won't stop at pulling her out of class to give her a hug!"

Kate frowned, she didn't know that. In fact, she'd admired Alexis for her strength and resilience in overcoming such a traumatic experience.

"Richard's never been one to make friends quickly. Sure he has a lot of acquaintances and he'll throw the best party that has everyone in town gushing for months, but real friends?" Martha shook her head. "You're his friend, Kate. Roy Montgomery was. And Javi and Kevin and Lanie are. He really cares about your friends, not because they're your friends, because they're  _his_  friends, too. He's already proven he'll take a bullet for you, Kate, but he'll take one for Esposito and Ryan and Lanie just as willingly. It took him years to find true friends, Kate, because he's always surrounded by phony people and brownnosers. Maybe he just doesn't want to lose them because he understands how much they're worth his friendship."

"But why did he have to just run out like that? Why didn't he stay and talk it out with me? Why is he not fighting for me?"

"Because he knows better than to push you, darling. You'll lash out at him. You're not always the easiest person to be around, kiddo. And Richard's learned that sometimes it's best to sit back and keep his mouth shut and wait until you've figured it out yourself."

Martha stopped talking and sniffed the air. Kate looked at Martha with amusement and bemusement, then nearly jumped out of her skin. "Dinner!" She yelled and ran over to the stove to pull the skillet off the hot plate. What used to be chicken breasts were now bona fide lumps of coal. Dammit.

"I'm sorry to come across so harsh with you, but honey you need a reality check." Martha apologized and watched Kate dump her dinner into the trash bin.

"Thank you," Kate acknowledged the apology but refused to look at the other woman. After a few beats of silence, she said, "You must hate me for the way I've treated your son."

"Nah, nonsense, you're still my favorite daughter –in-law." Martha waved her hands and Kate smiled, "You just really needed that reality check."

'I suppose I did. I don't necessarily agree with everything you said but I know I've screwed up big time."

Martha nodded. "I'm sure he'll be back soon, Kate, and then you'll find a way to talk everything over. Just don't make any rash judgments."

"Too late, he's already given me an ultimatum. It's either him or D.C.I think I'll go back to my place for tonight. Give Rick and me both time to cool off. Give us some time to think."

"He didn't mean it, I'm sure. Richard has a tendency to say things he doesn't really mean in the heat of the moment. It's probably why he left in the first place. Give him some time to get over the betrayal that you didn't tell him upfront about your career plans. He'll come around soon and you can discuss your future seriously and calmly." Martha patted Kate's hand reassuringly.

0~0~0~0~0

"Richard!"

Castle woke up to his mother hovering over his bed and staring down at him. Maybe if he closed his eyes, she'd go away. He rolled around to the other side and buried his face deeper into the pillow.

"Richard," Martha's voice was growing impatient. "Get up already."

"No," he mumbled into the pillow.

"Aren't you going to the precinct today?"

"No," he grumbled.

"Is everything alright? Between you and Kate I mean."

"No," came the predictable monosyllabic answer.

"Can you say anything else besides, 'no'?"

"No!" Castle pulled the sheets over his head.

Martha shook her head, "Get up and get dressed. We'll talk about it over breakfast."

"I'm not hungry," Castle replied petulantly from underneath the blanket.

"Richard Alexander Rodgers, don't make me pull the sheets off your bed!"

Castle peeked out slowly from the sheets. She had that look on her face. The same one that greeted him as a teenager, when he was late for school. And she'd do it. She had no qualms about pulling the sheets and blankets off of him and leave him freezing in the winter. One time he'd decided to shock her into stopping doing that and slept nude. His mother barely bat her eyelashes, when she told him, it's cold outside and to dress up warmly.

"Are you hungover?" Martha's voice suddenly took on a more caring tone.

"No," Castle set up in bed, slowly rubbing his eyes. "Just didn't sleep well last night."

"Beckett?"

Castle ran his hand through his hair and nodded.

"Come on, take a shower and I'll make you breakfast."

"Bloody Maries?"

"Eggs, sunny side up, with bacon and home fries. If you'll be a good boy, I'll arrange them to make a face like I did when you were little."

"With the home fries for a beard?" Castle's eyes lit up and Martha laughed out loud.

"Home fries for the beard," she nodded.

Twenty minutes later Castle walked clean-shaven into the kitchen, where Martha was just divvying up breakfast between two plates.

"Just in time!" She looked at her son. "Now come sit and tell me what's wrong."

"Kate doesn't love me, that's what's wrong."

"Oh Richard, don't be daft, the girl carries a torch for you that could light up all of Manhattan."

"Yeah, well, apparently the flame's been extinguished because she's seriously thinking about moving to D.C. for a job that will tear us apart."

"And you know that how?"

"It's a high-profile government job, mother. Beckett would be required to travel a lot wherever the task force is needed. I'd barely see her, even if I moved to D.C. with her."

"Do you love her?" Martha asked her son. Castle just looked at her helplessly. "Oh come here, kiddo", she pulled him into a tight embrace. "It's gonna be alright."

"How can she put her career ahead of us? We've worked so hard to get where we are and suddenly it doesn't count for anything? What about all those years I've waited for her to get better until she was ready for a serious relationship? How can that mean nothing to her?" Castle shook his head in despair. "If she really loved me, she wouldn't take the job."

"Well, to be fair, Richard, Kate is young and at the beginning of her career. It's only natural she'll want to advance and proof herself. Remember when you wrote five novels in one year just after your first book came out? You were so afraid, you'd end up a one hit wonder, you couldn't stop writing."

Castle laughed out loud, "I remember. God, those novels were complete shit."

"The point is, darling, Kate still needs to write her novels. You're an accomplished author, she's just starting out. Knowing Beckett, there'll come a lot more opportunities like this for her, but she'll always wonder what if, if she doesn't acknowledge them because she doesn't want to hurt you."

"So now you're taking  _her_  side?" Castle looked at his mother hurt and confused. Great, now Kate had even turned his own mother against him. His  _freeloading_  mother.

"I'm not taking  _anyone's_  side. I'm just stating some facts and bringing home some truths. And if you're concerned I'm choosing Kate over you, you didn't hear what I said to her last night."

Castle raised his eyebrows curiously.

"I'm not gonna kiss and tell."

"Oh come on, mother, you can't say something like that and leave me hanging."

"Let's just say, I gave her a necessary reality check.."

Castle smiled, "Aw, you went all Mama Bear on her, protecting your little cub."

"Yeah, well, I prefer to think of myself as a lioness."

"Does that make me Simba?" Castle grinned.

"You wish! Half the time you remind me of Pumba."

"Yeah, should have destroyed that DVD after Alexis made us watch  _The Lion King_  the fifth time. God, how many times have we seen that one?"

"At least a hundred. I can still quote bits and pieces from it." Martha chuckled.

"Can I ask you a question, Richard?"

"Sure."

"If you love Beckett so much, why don't you propose to her?"

Castle shook his head, "I've thought about that, mother,  _believe me_ , I was more than tempted to show up with a ring at the precinct today. But it wouldn't be fair to her and it wouldn't be right for us to start this way. Kate's already under enough pressure deciding her professional future, if I now throw in such a big change in her personal life… I think she might just prove that spontaneous combustion is possible in humans."

"But maybe that's the kind of reassurance Kate needs right now." Martha looked at her son pointedly.

"Why would…?" Castle licked his lip, "Why would that make any difference? How will throwing in kids into this fight solve anything?" Martha tried to hide her mirth behind the coffee cup, when her son immediately jumped from wedding to children.

"Have you thought about the possibility that part of the reason why Kate is so susceptible to the job offer is because she's afraid your relationship is going nowhere?"

"How can she even think that?" Castle pressed his flat hands indignantly on the table. "I've been trying to figure out the perfect way to propose to her for weeks. I've scoured all the jewelers but I've been unable to find the perfect ring for her. So I designed one and had it custom made, just for her. Every time she asks me about our future, I have to leave the room because I'm afraid my goofy grin will give the surprise away! And she's like a dog with a bone about that lately."

"You know I've told you before, all a woman wants is a man down on one knee, ring in hand…"

"Exactly, when Ryan and Jenny got engaged, Beckett made it clear that she doesn't like big proposals. She wants something intimate. Do you have any idea how hard it is to come up with something meaningful and special and intimate? She already nixed the helicopter ride…"

"Don't do something stupid like put a ring in her champagne flute or food. The poor girl will choke and won't even know what hit her." Martha chastised her son.

"It doesn't matter anyway. She clearly sees no future for us, or she wouldn't seriously consider a job that might break us up."

"Maybe she's considering the job because she thinks you see no future for your relationship." Martha felt like they were going in circles in this discussion. When had her son become so dumb?

"Honestly, mother, why would she think that? I chased after her for three years, I've been following around her for four. I even waited for her when she asked me to and then unceremoniously walked all over my heart again. I think I made it pretty clear that I'm in this for the long haul."

"Then tell her that! Don't propose, if you don't want to. But Richard, that girl is crazy in love with you and what she needs to hear most right now is that you love her and you'll fight for her."

Castle cast her a skeptical look.

"Don't make the same mistakes with Kate you've made with all the other women in your life. It may be the wrong way to show it, but perhaps Kate is threatening to make herself scarce because she needs more attention from you. Didn't you say Kyra pulled a similar stunt on you when she fled to London."

"She wanted me to come after her." Castle remembered wistfully. "I thought she needed space, so I didn't want to pressure her. But really, she wanted me to come and claim her. Why do women do that, mother?"

"Because as much as we like to claim to be the superior gender, sometimes we're just as stupid as men."

"Worse, you're so complicated! If that's really how Kate feels, why doesn't she just tell me. Why do I have to be a mind reader and guess everything?"

"Well, in all fairness, son, she  _did_  try to be mature about it and talk to you but you just weren't listening." Martha pointed her finger at him.

"I've screwed up, haven't I?"

"Not as much as Kate has."

"Oh, so you're back on my side now." Richard grinned.

"You know, as long as you're so immature to insist on picking sides in this argument…. A marriage is not about picking sides. It's about facing the world as a united front. So as long as you think of you and Kate as on opposite ends, you shouldn't propose to her anyway."

"You're right," Castle sighed contritely.

"Good then stop avoiding her. Go after her, swallow your pride, and tell her what you want. If she still chooses to walk all over your heart, then you know at least she wasn't the right woman for you."

It hurt Castle to think about Kate that way. She was complicated and complex, incredibly frustrating and stubborn, but she was not the kind of person that willingly hurt other people. They'd both fucked up and it was time they started to hold each other and especially themselves accountable for the mess they had created.

"Fine, I'll go in, if a body drops and she calls me." Castle grumbled and just on cue his phone rang. "Whoa, this is creepy. Eerie and creepy!" He exclaimed and Martha just shook her head.

"Beckett?" Castle answered the phone. Martha watched him get up and walk to the closet. He reached for his coat and the keys on the way to the door. She sighed deeply. They'd be fine. Eventually. Who was it who said, little children little worries, big children big problems? They knew what they were doing.

She stood up and cleaned up the dishes, humming  _Hakuna Matata._

0~0~0~0~0

"Thanks for meeting me, dad." Kate greeted her father and slid into the booth opposite him. She'd called him last night asking him if he had time for lunch. After Martha's dressing down and the burnt dinner, she decided to retreat to her own apartment. She hadn't spoken with Castle since. Sure they'd discussed the case at the scene and at the precinct, but the tension between them couldn't be cut with a knife. They even had Ryan and Esposito on edge, they kept muttering about needing therapy because Mommy and Daddy were fighting.

"Of course, Katie. I already ordered the usual for us."

"Good. I'm sorry I'm late we're working this crazy case right now, where nothing is as it seems. Our victim pretended to be a hooker, why would anyone do that?"

"Usually it's the other way round."

"I know! It just doesn't make sense!"

Jim Beckett nodded his head. He looked at his daughter concerned, he didn't want to push her but a father was a father, and he knew something was off. He could hear it in her voice last night when she called him. "So…" He looked at her expectantly.

"So…" Kate sighed. "I got a job offer…"

"Ok," So far Jim didn't see what the problem was. He always knew his little girl wouldn't stay a rookie cop, he'd never been prouder than the day she became her gold shield. "Where?"

"D.C." Kate puffed her cheeks and exhaled quickly.

"Excuse me?" Jim had thought more along the lines of where as in which company or agency.

"We worked a case with a high-level federal organization a while ago. They're with the attorney general. The agent whom we liaised with got me an invitation for a job interview. I went there the day before yesterday."

Jim beamed at her proudly, "Congratulations, Katie. When are you and Rick moving?"

Kate closed her eyes and took a breath, "I'm not sure if there is a  _we_  anymore. Rick wasn't particularly happy about my career ambitions."

"I see." Jim nodded. "What did he say?"

"He basically gave me an ultimatum. Him or D.C."

Kate's father sighed, "Ah, the old dilemma: mind over heart."

Beckett raised her eyebrows not understanding what her father was driving at.

"You follow your heart and choose Rick and New York, you'll pass on a big chance in your career. You might start to resent him for keeping you back. You follow your mind and go to D.C. for a prestigious job, and you and Rick break up. You'll throw yourself into the job to get over him and bury yourself into work just as you did after mom died."

"So I can't really win, can I?" Jim shrugged his shoulder I response. "You're not very helpful today, dad."

They interrupted their conversation, when the waitress brought their lunch. They quickly thanked her and dug into their plates.

"I can't tell you what to do. This is a decision  _you_  have to make. But tell me this, what do you really want?"

"I really want this job. Not only is it a big step in my career but I could help a lot more people, dad."

"Well, then you have to explain that to Rick and try to find a solution that works for you. Make him see how important this is to you. If he really loves you then he will support you in everything you do and won't stand between you and your career."

"Then I don't think he really loves me. He's been so adamant that the job will be the end of us, he isn't even willing to discuss moving with me. We haven't really spoken with each other since yesterday."

"That doesn't sound like Rick at all. The man practically worships the ground you walk on. What did you do, Katie?" Jim looked at his daughter sternly. Apparently it was tough love week or something. First Martha, and now her own father.

"I didn't do anything!" Kate defended herself, but faced with her father's unrelenting stare, she admitted. "I didn't tell him about the interview. He found out last night, when he accidentally found my boarding pass. He was…" Kate trailed off, remembering the look of hurt and anger on his face, when he confronted her about the job interview.

"Oh Katie, haven't you learned anything from your past relationships?" Her father shook his head wistfully. "Secrets have no place in a marriage."

"We're not married, dad."

"Would you like to marry Rick?" He asked her bluntly.

"Dad!" Kate blushed a little and lowered her eyes.

"Oh please, Katie, no need to play coy with me. Your mother told me all about your escapades as a teenager. I knew that kid with the weird hair and awful smelly clothes spelled trouble. Grunge rocker, my ass."

"We haven't really talked about that stuff. I've hinted at it but Castle's been avoiding the topic. Another reason why I think he may not really love me. Maybe the thrill is gone for him, now that he's had me and I didn't live up to his expectations."

"I hope you can hear yourself, so you'll realize how ridiculous you sound. Maybe Rick needs more time before he's ready to commit to a third marriage. Two divorces are enough to give the bravest men cold feet."

Kate huffed in frustration. "I'm not asking him to marry me right away. It would be nice to know though, whether a family is even something he wants. And unfortunately at the moment it doesn't seem so. If he truly cared about me, about us, he'd be fighting for me, not hiding from me."

"So you  _do_  want to marry him and have his children." Jim grinned smugly.

"I didn't say that." Kate blushed again.

"You didn't have to. Your eyes light up when you talk about him. I've never seen you like this around any of your other boyfriends."

"Yeah well, those were high school and college boys. None of these relationships were serious."

"Could have fooled me the way you talked about your boyfriends and the waterworks your mom had to mop up when they broke up with you."

Kate narrowed her eyes. "Not helping, dad!"

"Sorry, sweetheart, it's just so obvious that you're really in love with Rick."

"Which makes this decision only harder. I really want this job, dad. If Rick were on board, I'd accept immediately. But with Rick on the fence… I really want this relationship, too."

"Did Rick give you any reason why he's against D.C.?"

"Not really, well none that counts anyway. He seems mostly upset at the idea that he won't be able to follow me anymore."

"Is there a possibility that…?" Jim wondered.

"No." Kate shook her head, "Not a snowball's chance in hell. This is D.C. and Rick's got no contacts there. Besides, the job is very clandestine operations; the agency I'd work for tries to keep a really low profile. The last thing they'd want is a famous mystery writer getting in their hair." Kate stopped talking as a metaphorical light bulb went on in her head.

"What?" Her father raised an eyebrow.

Kate leaned forward and reached across the table to grasp her father's face. She placed a kiss on his cheek, "Thanks, dad, you're the best."

"What did I do?" Jim stared perplexed at his daughter.

"I know now what has Castle so upset. And it has nothing to do with moving to D.C. or not following me around anymore per se."

"What is it then?"

"Remember the ultimatum I thought he'd given me? Either him or the job? Well, it wasn't so much an ultimatum as a realization. He said, if I take the job and go to D.C. that will be the end of us. He didn't mean the distance or the crazy work hours. He thinks that I will have to end the relationship because my work won't allow me to have a high profile relationship with a celebrity. Here I thought he was being childish about leaving New York and just being petty about me not including him in my decision. Which is stupid because I never would have taken the job without discussing it with him first."

"So what are you going to do?" Jim Beckett asked alert and curious.

"Talk to the recruiter to clear a few things up." Kate bolted from her seat and was out the door before her father could protest.

"Katie, come back!" He called after her in vain. "You haven't finished your food," he said quietly and stared at a half empty plate across the table. She'd finished the strawberry milkshake though, Jim Beckett noticed with a smile.

0~0~0~0~0

"Detective Beckett, my office. Now!" Gates summoned her best detective.

Ryan and Esposito shot her a 'what-did-you-do-now?' look and Beckett just shrugged her shoulders. She left them to their own devices in front of the murder board and made her way into the captain's office.

"Sir, you wanted to see me?" Beckett announced her presence and closed the door behind her.

"What did you want to do before your mother was murdered and you became a cop?"

"Excuse me?" Beckett looked at the captain flustered. Where'd that question come from? When Gates kept staring at her unrelenting, Kate finally caved in, "Law. I was pre-law at Stanford."

"Lawyer like your parents," Gates nodded understandingly.

"Chief justice, actually," Kate blushed and smiled, "I wanted to become the first female Chief Justice."

Gates grinned, "I wouldn't have expected anything less of you, Beckett."

Gates pointed at the chair, "Sit down." She waited until her best detective was seated, then continued her interrogation. "Where do you see yourself in five years, detective?"

Kate quirked an eyebrow, "Sir?" Why was everyone asking her the same question these days?

" _Apparently you had quite the interview in D.C." Gates said, as she placed the folder she'd been reading aside._

" _It's a long shot at best," Kate shook her head._ _How did she even know about the interview? Had D.C. contacted her to check her credentials?_

_Gates took off her glasses, "From what I hear, you're on the shortlist."_

"Wow!" Kate let out a surprised huff and leaned back in her chair. She had not expected that outcome.

"I would have appreciated a heads up from you, detective. I don't like finding out my best detective is leaving from third parties."

"Sir, I didn't say anything because I really didn't expect anything to come out of it."

"Well, it looks like you need to make a decision soon now. This could be your last case you're working on for me."

Kate nodded.

"You don't look too happy, detective."

"I am, sir, just trying to wrap my head around the news."

"It's a good thing, detective. You've worked very hard to earn this opportunity. I hate to see you go, but I've always wondered why you were so content with staying just a homicide detective. You seem predestined for great things. Smart, focused, hard worker."

"My priorities shifted after my mother's death." Beckett explained. She couldn't believe she was discussing this with Gates of all people.

Gates nodded in understanding, "And one day we'll catch the bastard who did it." She watched Kate's reaction carefully. "But then again you already know who did it, don't you?"

"Sir, I…"

"Save it, detective. You really must think I am stupid. First your sniper, then your mother's killer, then your secret boyfriend…"

"He's untouchable."

"Mr. Castle?" Gates frowned confused.

"No," Kate laughed, "the man behind my mother's murder and my attempted assassination. There's not enough evidence to guarantee a conviction and he moves in such high circles, he's probably acquired ten get-out-of-hell free cards through favors by now."

"Do I want to know his name?"

Beckett shook her head, "He'll slip up eventually and I'll be ready. When I have the evidence to arrest and charge him, you'll be the first to know, sir."

"Don't do anything stupid, Beckett, that may hurt your career."

Kate nodded. Until a few days ago she had spent nary a thought about her career. She'd been so preoccupied with her finding her mother's killer, she held a high disregard for the consequences of her obsession and actions. And while a lot had to do with the fact that she'd turned the tables on Bracken a year ago, she had to acknowledge Castle's role in her transformation. If it hadn't been for him, she might have paid with her life, or at least with her career, for all the stupid mistakes she made as a blind man on a mission.

"Sir, may I ask you a personal question?"

Gates raised her eyebrows, "Sure, but overstep your place, and I'll bump you down to traffic for a week."

Kate smiled but asked her question anyway, "Are these your children?" She pointed at two framed photographs in the captain's office.

"Yes, my daughter is only slightly younger than Mr. Castle's daughter. My son is turning fifteen."

Beckett nodded quietly, "Is it tough being a mother and a cop?"

"Kate, are you pregnant?"

"No!" Kate exclaimed. Sheesh, what was it with people insisting on pregnancies. "I'm just curious. How people do it."

Gates quirked an eyebrow and replied amused, "I hope your mother had the birds and the bees talk with you before she died, Kate, because I'm not going to…"

"No, sir," Kate interrupted her quickly, laughing nervously. God this was way too awkward but Gates was really the only person she could ask. With exception of Karpowski, there were no female detectives on the homicide teams, and Karpowski was even less maternal than Kate felt most of the time. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just wondering how female cops do it, you know, reconciling work and family."

"It's hard, I won't lie," Gates leaned back. "It would be even harder if I didn't have a wonderful husband who's been more than willing to play Mr Mom for the last eighteen years."

"Did you consider quitting the force, when you found out about your pregnancy?"

"No, not really." Gates shook her head, "Beckett, are you sure I'm not supposed to put you on desk duty for the next nine months? What's prompted this line of personal inquiries?"

Kate laughed again, nervously. "Well, you did ask me where I see myself in five years…"

"Ohhh," Gates nodded. The penny finally dropped. "Is that why you're not as excited about the short list as I thought you would be?"

Beckett shrugged her shoulders.

"You don't have to choose between a family and a career, Beckett. There's a million women around the globe who are juggling kids and a job, and none of them are married to a wonderful husband, who'd call dibs on being a stay-at-home-dad so he can let out his inner child, playing hide and seek with his toddlers and laser tag with his teenagers."

"Excuse my frankness, sir, but how can you do it? How can you have children, when you know there's a very real chance you might not come home one day?"

"I never said my decision to have children was an easy one. Of course, the thought occurred to me that I may die on the job, although by then I had already transferred to IA. I was put on desk duty for the remainder of my pregnancy, and after the birth I voluntarily stayed on desk duty for another two years."

"If I take the job in D.C., then I'll have to travel a lot. It also involves a lot more risk than being a homicide detective."

"But like we do, they will train you to stay safe. You can get hit by a bus today, when you leave the precinct and step on the street."

"I know, but still… if I were let's say a waitress or a bus driver, I'd be in a safer environment."

"Sure, if you count robberies, fisticuffs among drunken patrons, New York streets and traffic as safe."

Kate smiled at the captain.

"So where  _do_  you see yourself in five years? Married with children? Working for the Attorney General kicking ass all around the USA? Solving murders here at the 12th?"

Kate shrugged her shoulders. "I really don't know, sir. It's not that I don't have any ambitions, D.C.'s undoubtedly a very enticing offer, but it would also mean that I have to put my private life on hold."

"You're not taking Mr. Castle with you?"

Kate shook her head.

"What a pity, that was the only redeeming side effect of you leaving us, if Castle left with you."

Kate smiled sadly, "He doesn't want to move to D.C. but that's not the problem. I talked to the recruiter from my interview and he's made it clear that a high profile relationship like I have with Castle would be counterproductive to my work in the task force, where members are expected to keep a low profile. So I don't know if I really want to take the job. I know you don't like Castle, but he's half the reason why our team has such a good track record. This job can be so tedious and depressing, Castle's wild theories are refreshing and a welcome distraction from all the grime and gore we see every day."

"You really love him, don't you?" Gates looked at her best detective with a sympathetic smile. "You know I can't let the two of you keep working together, if your relationship becomes public. I can only close my eyes and pretend I don't see anything for so long, before I have to report it."

Kate nodded, "Even though he's a civilian?"

"The regs aren't just there to avoid fall outs from workplace fraternizations among colleagues. If your partner is also your significant other, your judgment on the job may be clouded. We don't want Mr. Castle to get accidentally killed because you hesitated to do your job out in the field."

"Sir, with all due respect, Castle and I have proven over the last year that we can stay objective and focus on the job in all kinds of situations. Nothing has changed between us professionally."

"And kudos to you and Mr Castle for pulling that off for as long as you have, which is why I haven't said anything before. But once the media get wind of your relationship, I'll have a PR nightmare and the police chief breathing down my neck."

Kate nodded slowly. "I don't suppose we could officially switch teams?"

"What do you mean? Castle's presence is only allowed because he's shadowing you."

"So we can't just pair me up with Esposito and Ryan with Castle and form one big team instead of two partnerships?"

"I'll look into it but I can't promise anything."

Kate nodded.

"I take it from the direction this conversation has been taking that you're not inclined to take the job in D.C, if they make you an official offer?"

"I don't know." Kate shook her head frustrated, "I don't know what I want, or better, I want it all but I don't know how to bring it all together. I'm only 33 years old and only at the beginning of my career. If I turn down this opportunity, I may regret it for the rest of my life."

"There are career opportunities with the NYPD, too."

"You mean the sergeant's exam?"

"For instance, but why stop there? As far as I know New York City has still yet to see the first female Police Commissioner."

Kate's face brightened with a smile, instantly knowing the captain was referencing her childhood dream. "I thought that was what you had set your eyes on," Kate quipped and Gates chuckled.

"Have you ever thought of taking the sergeant's exam?"

"Not really, I don't really need more paperwork I my life." Kate admitted.

"It's not just paperwork, Detective. You'd also be in a supervisory position. It's the first stepping-stone to making Captain one day. I'm not gonna be here forever, you know, and I have a feeling Roy Montgomery already groomed you before me for this position."

"But I wouldn't really be going out into the field anymore."

"Not necessarily, we have a small number of sergeants who are still active investigators. As long as you don't fall behind on your paperwork…"

Beckett sighed, "I'm not sure I'd want to leave the 12th, if I decided to stay. I mean part of the reason to turn down D.C. would be to stay with the people I love to work with."

"I can understand that, Beckett. The reason why regs discourage detectives becoming sergeants in their own precincts is that it can create petty jealousy if someone comes up the ranks faster than someone else. However, seeing as how well respected you're not only by your team but by the other detectives working for me, I think we could give it a try. I can always transfer you later if it doesn't work out."

Kate hummed in agreement. This sounded actually good. She knew that eventually she'd have to leave the 12th as she rose through the ranks, if she really wanted to make her way all the way up to 1 Police Plaza, but for now, it seemed to quench her desire to advance her career without alienating Castle completely.

"By the way, if you become sergeant, there may be times where it seems like you have an office job. Makes your life a whole lot less dangerous than chasing suspects on the streets of New York. The more you rise through the ranks the less you will be exposed to immediate risks, if you catch my drift." Gates looked at Beckett knowingly.

Kate smiled, "Message arrived, sir. I'll think about it."

"Don't take too long, Beckett. Sergeant exams are next up in July."

"Yessir," Beckett grinned.

"Oh and one more thing, detective. I want you to be the first to know that I just heard back from 1PP regarding the promotion I put in for your team." She held up the folder she'd been reading earlier.

"Excuse me? What promotion?" Neither she, nor Ryan or Esposito had applied for anything.

"I've watched your team do excellent work over the past two years. You have the highest solve rate and exemplary work ethics. I don't know how you do it, but you even solve the most absurd cases that would have other detectives stumped."

"Believe it or not, but sometimes it helps to have Castle and his wild conspiracy theories around." Kate chuckled.

"Congratulations, Detective Beckett, your promotion to grade 3 detective has been approved. I trust Detectives Ryan and Esposito will be more pleased to hear from you that they're now grade two than from me."

"Thank you, sir." Kate couldn't believe she'd found an unlikely ally and mentor in Captain Gates.

"Hard work needs to be rewarded and properly compensated."

Beckett nodded and reached for the doorknob.

"Beckett?"

Kate turned around.

"I'm glad we had this conversation. I'd hate to use a talented and hard working detective like you."

"Thank you, sir, for… everything."

"I trust you will make the right decision for you."

"I think I already have, sir." Beckett turned back to open the door but stopped short and swiveled around.

"Yes, detective?"

"Out of curiosity, how did you find out about my job interview? Because I was told it is all very hush-hush and I was expressly forbidden to discuss the nature of my trip with anyone."

"Oh, it seems you, too, have friends in high places. I got a call from Senator Bracken's office to reassure me that my finest detective jumped the next round and already made it on the shortlist."

"Excuse me?!" Beckett's jaw dropped.

"Yes, he actually called me personally to commend me for my fine precinct. Apparently you left a huge impression when you worked his case a couple of months ago. He expressed his support in getting you onto the short list. He's been a huge admirer of your work ever since you saved his life." Gates explained, her eyebrows raised. She trailed off, when she saw the change of demeanor in Beckett.

"Bracken's behind all of this?" Kate's mouth went dry as her heart started thumping in her chest.

"Yes, apparently he's on some board or other involving the Attorney General's new task force, and when he saw your name among the applicants, he instantly voted to short list you."

This can't be happening. Surely… Bracken was behind this all the time. What did this mean? What were his motives? Why would he want her in D.C.? What was his game? Did he think he'd have her under control there? If he was involved with the task force he might just be in control of her job, or worse, he might be looking for a way to get rid of her. Permanently.

"Detective, you're all right? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yes, sir, I mean no, sir. I mean I'm ok."

Gates lifted her eyebrows, clearly not believing her.

"Kate, is there something I should know? Something you want to tell me?"

"No sir." Beckett shook her head vehemently.

"Was this a threat to your personal life, Beckett? Do I need to put a protective detail on you and Castle?"

Kate shook her head again, "No sir. I can handle this. He's probably just rattling my cage."

Then she turned on her heels and exited the captain's office. Her mind was running overtime, as the wheels in her brain started turning. If Bracken was behind this the whole time, it meant that he hadn't given up yet. Maybe he'd called her bluff, or worse, he found out she had really nothing substantial against him. If her blackmail scheme failed, she still was a target. She might as well draw a bull's eye on her back to make the job easier for the next assassin.

" _You okay?" Esposito asked when she brushed past him and Ryan on her way through the bullpen._

" _Yeah," She whipped her head around and found Espo and Ryan looking at her worriedly. She'd been in with Gates for what seemed like forever and the boys were probably thinking Gates had ripped her a new one._

" _What's up?" Esposito asked and Ryan backed him up with a curious but caring, "Yeah, what's going on?"_

_Kate let out the breath she's been holding and looked down on the floor. She smiled, trust her boys to be there to take care of her and protect her. And she had seriously considered leaving them for a silly job in D.C.? What was she thinking? Ryan and Esposito would take a bullet for her; she'd never find colleagues like them anywhere else. "Look, there's something that I have to tell you guys, but there's someone else I have to tell first." She turned her back to them and walked over to the elevator. She got out her phone and scrolled through her contact list until she hit Castle. She pressed the call button for the elevator and then called him._

_He picked up after the first ring, "Castle."_

" _It's me… we need to talk," was all she said._

" _Yeah, we do," came his simple and curt reply. She could still hear the anger in her voice._

"Meet me at…" He was going to make fun of her for her choice of location. But she wanted him to know that this talk was important to her. "Remember the bookstore where you had your signing a couple years ago? The one I came to after I got shot."

"Yeah," He drew out the word, indicating he wasn't really following her.

"I'll wait for you on the swings across the street."

Castle smiled for the first time in the last 24 hours. He knew exactly where she meant. How could he forget the swing set that would forever change his life? She'd practically told him that day to hang in there and wait for her until she was ready to be in a relationship with him. Sure, she'd lied to him about not remembering anything, but the important point to take away was that she needed time to heal before she could plunge into a happily ever after with him. If she chose that swing set, surely it must mean something positive.

"I'll be there shortly." He replied, "Bye."

"Bye."

0~0~0~0~0

Kate spotted Rick immediately when she got out of the car. He'd beaten her to it. He was already sitting on the same swing set they had two years ago when she had to grovel for his forgiveness after the three months of radio silence. She felt oddly similar to that day.

She walked across the lawn, watching him as he swung idly back and forth, running along with his feet. She saw the serious look on his face and Kate's heart sank. What if he's already made the decision to break up with her? She approached him from behind and sat quietly down on the left swing, facing in the opposite direction, waiting for him to notice her.

"Hey." He said quietly, without looking up.

"Hi." She replied in kind.

Castle stopped swinging and finally looked up at her with expecting eyes.

"I got the job." Kate said. She did. They had just called her when she was driving over.

Castle nodded. Of course, he hadn't really expected any different. She was, after all, extraordinary. "You've made your decision?" He asked her.

Kate nodded but before she could say anything, Castle continued. "Then I guess there's nothing I can say to make you stay." He pulled out a slip of paper from his jacket, balled it up in his hands and tossed it into the grass.

"What's that?" Beckett wanted to know.

Castle shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing important anymore."

"I didn't say I'll take the job."

Castle perked up, "What do you mean? I thought you wanted this job?"

"I did. I still do." Kate looked at him helplessly. If only he showed her how much he loved her. If only he'd talk her out of taking the job, making her feel important to him again. Instead he'd just tacitly assumed she'd pick the job over him and prepared himself to let her go.

"Well, then there isn't really anything left for us to discuss. You've made your stand point clear."

"Do you love me?"

"What?!" He looked at her like she'd grown a second head.

"Do you? Do you see a future for us?"

"It doesn't really matter what I think or want, does it? Because what Kate Beckett wants, Kate Beckett gets." Castle sneered. He was hurting and he was still lashing out at her.

"Ouch, that stings."

"Why does my opinion matter now, when it didn't before?"

"Castle, I would've never accepted a job offer without discussing it first with you. I only didn't tell you about the job interview because I truly believed it wouldn't lead anywhere and I wanted to avoid this fight. I've been trying to talk to you about our future but you've gone out of the way to avoid that topic, so I figured while you sort out your personal future, I'll tackle my professional one."

"How can you say you'd never accept a job offer without discussing it first with me, when you've clearly reached a decision without talking to me again?" Castle glared at her. "It hurts when you make decisions without me. It makes me feel unimportant, like I don't really belong into your life. It makes me feel like we're back at the beginning. You shut me out and you only let me peak at your life from a tiny little window. Just as you did when I started shadowing you. I thought we'd become more than that. Not just friends, not just lovers but partners in everything we do. So when you pull a stunt like that, I feel like I mean nothing to you at all."

"That's where you wrong, Castle. You mean so much to me. I love you." Kate reached out to grasp the chain of his swing and pull him a little closer. "And this is why I'm here, Castle, to talk things over. Yes I've made  _my_  decision, but I'd like to know what decision  _we_ 'll make."

"Does it really matter anymore since you've decided?" He clearly wasn't going to make this easy for her.

"Yes, because if it were just me, I'd have already accepted the job in D.C. I won't lie to you. The job offer has reawakened old ambitions inside me, I thought long lost with my mom's death. But I'm not alone anymore, I've got you, and if I want this relationship to have a future, I need to take your thoughts and feelings into consideration."

"What do you want me to say, Kate? Don't go because I love you? Then what'll happen next? You'll wonder for the rest of your life what would have been. I'll be the selfish jerk and you'll eventually come to resent me because I squashed your dreams."

"And if I go and take you with me?"

"You know that won't be possible."

"I know. So that'll make me the selfish one."

"We're not even talking about me no longer being allowed to shadow you."

"I know. Castle, I really don't want to trade what we have for a stressful, high-level security job."

"You don't?" He looked at her surprised.

Kate shook her head, "I need you Castle. Not only at work, because you make my job a little less dreadful, but I need you to balance out my life. I've been really happy the last year with you. Life's a little more fun and laid back with you around, and I definitely need that in my life. So give me one good reason to stay. Give me one reason that what we have is real and that our relationship has a future."

"One?" Castle looked at her amused, "I'll give you ten!" He ran his feet quickly along the ground until he could reach the small ball of paper he'd tossed before. He bent down and explained, "I wrote this in the afternoon. I had an interesting conversation with my mother. I was hoping you'd give me a chance to change your mind." He stretched his fingers a little more and leaned a bit more forward – Beckett thought he'd fall off the swing any second now and face plant into the dirty earth.

"Hah!" Castle cried out triumphantly, "Got it!"

Beckett smiled in delight at his childish antics, while he straightened up again, and quickly unfurled the ball of paper.

"What's this?" Kate moved her swing closer.

"It's my new bucket list, or my Beckett list as I like to call it."

Kate raised her eyebrows amused.

"Number One – It goes chronologically I should say, it's not necessarily in order of importance." Castle explained quickly. Kate nodded.

"Okay, #1 Ask Kate to become my wife," Castle glanced at her briefly when he heard her gasp. "#2: Give her the wedding of her dreams; #3: Take Kate to Europe, possible honeymoon destination; #4: Start a family with Kate; #5 Tell her every day how much I love her; #6: Make another baby; #7 Family vacations and camping trips, maybe visit my lot on the moon – that's if science advances enough to start colonizing the moon during our lifetime, I suppose Disneyland will do it for the kids though – #8: Dance with Kate at Alexis's wedding; #9: Celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary with a romantic getaway to Bora Bora, #10: Attend our children's college graduation." Castle stopped and looked at Kate expectantly.

She got up wordlessly from the swing and walked over to Castle's. She lifted her leg to put it around his hip, then struggled to repeat the same motion with her other leg until she was straddling him on the swing.

"Whoa, careful, hon," Castle grabbed her ass to keep her in place. "You'll make us topple over." Kate ignored his warning and wound her arms tightly around his chest.

"I love you," she whispered and nuzzled her face into his neck.

"I love you, too." He brushed his hand over her hair.

She spoke into his neck, "I turned them down, Rick. I told them that my record is so exemplary because of you. I explained that I am unwilling to sacrifice my relationship with you. I asked if it is possible for me to remain in a high profile relationship considering the nature of my job. They said no. So I told them I can't do the same good work I've been doing without you. Told them I was honored they considered me for the position but unfortunately I have to decline."

"Really?"

"Mhm." She nodded quickly and then pressed her nose deeper into his skin. "You smell so good." She lifted her head and kissed him slowly.

"You picked me over the attorney general?" He leaned back in awe.

"I would've never been happy in my new job without you. If you didn't love me and our relationship would be over that would have been one thing. But I realized what you meant with that's the end of our relationship when I talked to my dad."

"It wasn't about following you, Kate. I would have moved to D.C. if we had a real chance at a relationship. I can write anywhere and Alexis is in college and doesn't need me around all the time. Even though she  _has_  been struggling coming to terms with her kidnapping, so I'd rather stay around and see her through this rough patch. Hell, I would've even followed you from assignment to assignment. But you saw the kind of life Stack leads, you'd never be able to live a double life like that if you dated me. You couldn't keep a low profile if you were married to me. The villains would recognize you instantly."

"I wish you had told me that right away." Kate complained into his shoulder. "I'm sorry it didn't cross my mind any sooner."

"And I wish you would have been upfront about the job offer, so I wouldn't have been so mad at you and had a clearer head." Castle mumbled into her hair. "I'm sorry I walked out on you and gave you the cold shoulder all day."

"I was so angry with you because it felt like you didn't support me."

"No way, Kate. Whatever you decide to do, I'll always support you. I get it, you know. I've been there. I've been right where you are at the beginning of your career, trying to prove yourself to everyone. I'm glad you're focusing on your career and future instead of wrestling with your past."

"You didn't support D.C.," she reminded him.

"That's because it would've meant we'd have to break up. So let me rephrase, Kate: As long as it means I get to be with you for the rest of my life, I'll be your biggest fan, the man behind the successful woman, your personal cheerleader, your right hand, whatever you want or need me to be. I know you'll go on to do great things, and I'd love to be at your side when you do."

"Will you put that into your vows?" She looked up at him.

"Kate?"

She leaned back and straightened up, her hands now wrapped around his neck. "Marry me, Castle."

"What?"

"Let's get married."

"Seriously, Kate? Don't do this to me," Castle whined, "I've been plotting and planning your proposal for weeks now, you can't ruin it for me by asking me first."

Kate grinned at him, "Weeks, huh?"

Castle shrugged his shoulder. "Don't do this to me, Kate. I only have the surprise thing going for me since I can't go all out with a big gesture."

"That's why you've been avoiding the topic." Kate looked at him, cracking a smile. "You're such a goof. You realize that making a woman feel like she's no longer the center of your attention is not a good way of getting her to say yes?"

"Seemed to be working for you," Castle shrugged his shoulders, "After all,  _you_  proposed to  _me_."

Kate narrowed her eyes.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, don't look at me like that, or your face might get stuck that way!" Castle quipped and immediately regretted the words, when he saw Kate's face cloud in sadness.

"My mom used to say that all the time when I was a little kid making faces." She explained.

"And right she was, you're way too adorable with your cute face to ruin it with ugly grimaces." Castle bumped his forehead softly against hers.

"I love you," she whispered softly.

"I love you, too." He kissed her softly but Kate's tongue traced his lips until he allowed her access. His arms came around her back, holding her secure, as she intensified their kiss. When they broke up for air, she gave him the brightest smile under the sun.

"Fine, surprise me."

Castle's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"The proposal?" She nudged him, "I'll let you have your big moment. We'll pretend I never said anything. Just no chopper rides, ok?"

"Ok. Can it be a little bit big?" He looked at her with puppy dog eyes. Oh those beautiful blue eyes of his were going to be the death of her one day. Especially when she imagined them attached to a little boy, staring up at her innocently, when he stuffed their toilet with toilet paper again. The proposal was as much about him as it was for her, so how could she begrudge him his wish.

"As big as intimate allows," she conceded and he kissed her passionately.

"Oh don't worry it will be big and  _intimate_  all right." He wriggled his eyebrows at her, when he broke their kiss.

"Not what I meant." Kate rolled her eyes.

"Get your mind out of the gutter,  _detective_." Castle gave her a mock scolding.

"What, you usually like it when I get down all dirty on you." She cocked her eyebrows and felt him shuffle around the narrow board. He was getting an erection in public, Kate realized and chuckled.

"According to Gates, you're sleeping with the future first female police commissioner in New York history."

"You talk with Gates about our sex life?!" Castle looked at her aghast.

"What? Ew! NO!" Kate shook her head vigorously. "Believe it or not but I actually had a really great talk with her today about my ambitions for my future and career."

"And?"

"She's got big plans for me," Kate winked at him.

"First female commissioner." Castle nodded.

"Castle, there's something else I need to tell you."

"What, you got a job offer in Australia?"

"No," Kat chuckled, "Though I did get a promotion. They bumped my salary up to grade three."

"Congratulations, though we both know you're not in it for the money."

Kate shrugged her shoulders, "Gates also wants me to sit for the sergeant's exam in two months."

"Wow. She's really serious about grooming you into the next Police Commissioner, isn't she." Castle grinned at her but his smile quickly faltered as Kate's face took on a more somber complexion.

"I think Bracken's coming after me again."

"What?" His fingers subconsciously tightened and he squeezed her hips a little too hard.

"Castle!" She chastised him.

"What? How?" He looked at her, gaping. "What happened?" He finally managed to get out.

"I think he set up the whole interview. He called Gates to tell her personally that he was instrumental in short listing me."

"Do you think the call was meant as a threat to you? Is that why you turned down the offer?"

"No, I had pretty much already made my decision by then." She hoped that he would believe her, she couldn't hold it against him if he thought she didn't really choose him over the job.

"Okay. So what does this mean? Did Gates say anything else?"

Kate rested her head on his chest and shook it slowly. Castle's eyes immediately started to scan the neighborhood.

"We need to tell they boys." She replied quietly, "They need to know, if we all could be in danger."

Castle nodded and pulled already his phone out to call them. Kate, however, put her hand over his, "Not yet." She snuggled deeper into Castle's body. "Let's stay like this for a while."

"Yeah?" He tucked her head under his chin.

"You make me feel safe, Castle." She sighed in content.

He smiled as he hugged her tighter. "I've got you, Kate. Always." He nuzzled his face into her hair and started humming contentedly.

"Castle?" Kate glanced up, "Are you humming that Lion King song?"


End file.
